In the time that I have been in Romania I have written 3 blog posts, 3 blog posts that I had read repeatedly only to delete them before posting. This may have been due to my lack of inspiration which showed in my writing, or maybe the overwhelming thought that “this isn’t my best work”. So, I have told myself that this post would be posted no matter how short, or how little confidence I have in this post. These thoughts that overwhelmed my mind led into my ministry as well over the past week. Our Ministry Host in the beginning of our time here in Romania had sat us all down to find out what our strengths are, as well as the things we enjoy doing. With this I had mentioned how I take photos as well as film videos, this seemed to peak his interest and he instantly put me to work. I’ve been filming interviews, dances, and the ministry itself. In this time, even though I love doing these things, I felt an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. Although I seemed to be completing the videos to the best of my ability and they looked very good, I still had that feeling. This feeling kept burning and got worse as the week continued which made very mundane task seem difficult.
As I was reading through my Bible, I came upon Romans 4:20-21, “Yet he did not waver” (Abraham) “through unbelief regarding the promise of God but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he promised”. God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and any sort of stress that comes from the amount of work you may have isn’t from God. I had a moment in which I could choose to keep letting the enemy control my mind and emotions, or I could take the initiative and take back those thoughts and emotions. It seemed as if in the exact moment in which I had made that decision, the stress instantly fell away, and those thoughts of inadequacy were gone and replaced with an overwhelming sense of confidence! The Lord is doing some CRAZY things here in Romania, and I will be sharing more about this in the coming week! Love you all!
– Derek
Derek, thanks for writing this blog. While you share you own personal experience, I am sure it is something many people can relate to. We need to focus on Him rather than on us and not allowing the enemy to drop thoughts of not being good enough into our minds. This is truth that you wrote! Thank you.